I was just on a well known social media platform, more popular with the over 40s than the under 30s, and I realised that photos of Christmas lunches or drunken Christmas parties are now a thing of the past. Replacing those are the endless opinions of people I have never heard of.
My algorithm feeds me content on Stranger Things, relationships, cats, skincare, menopause and the local news.
In 10 minutes I learnt that everyone hates season 5 of Stranger Things, apart from the people who love it and that the Duffer brothers are regurgitating the Hollywood narrative supporting peadophilia! Oh, and apparently we must be concerned with Milly Bobby Brown’s face.
I also learnt that men must stand up to the patriarchy and that all women are gold diggers.
A new vegan pizza range is ruining people’s lives and if I don’t start micro-dosing mushrooms, sipping ashwangandha tea and doing 10 squats before a meal, I may as well give up and resign myself to an ugly, wrinkly cortisol face with a side dish of “too old”.
It’s exhausting – utterly exhausting.
I may or may not agree with some of the above (I love Stranger Things, do not care what Milly BB does with her face and have zero opinions of what appeared to be a very divisive vegan pizza. The patriarchy has a lot to answer for though). The point being, I don’t want to have to critically analyse someone’s perspective on goodness knows what every time I log in to see what my buddies may have done on their Christmas break.
And if I have to spend £300 a month on supplements to stop me looking like an extra from Tales From the Crypt (photo for reference for the under 50s) then give me the key to my mausoleum and let me rot in peace!
Note to self: 2026 – less social media.
